Retirement Sort of
by krynny su
Summary: Buffy and Jack meet in an alley way in Cardiff. Investigations ensue. One-shot. Complete total drabble!


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Buffy or Torchwood. You know who does.

**A/N:** This is just a random one-shot I came up with. Complete and utter drabble haha.

I'm setting this early series 2 for Torchwood….probably somewhere in between episodes 1 & 2. However, the time lines between Buffy ending and series 2 aren't going to match up. From the Buffy side, it's only been maybe six months since Sunnydale. If that. Also, another tiny, insignificant point, but I made up Dawn's birthday because I couldn't find ANYWHERE that it seemed to be mentioned!

It switches back and forth from Buffy and Jack's POV, starting with Buffy. :] Here we go!

******************************

_**Buffy**_

I hadn't quite known what to expect from 'retirement'. I, at one point, had dared to dream, rather wondrously, if it meant that I would never have to deal with another vampire/demon/ 'insert villain here' again. That I would never have to deal with another incoming apocalypse. I could just sit back and let the new girls have a go.

Yeah. Right.

Realistically, 'retirement' meant '_Yeah, okay. Go on and live as normal of a life as you can but don't go _too _far in case we need you for said end of the world type things_._'_

Giles had a spare flat in Cardiff that he practically gave to me. I wouldn't have to worry about paying rent or any of the big girl money problems that I had faced before, which was nice.

Everything was going on the Council's tab.

I figured that I had a good month's worth of shopping I could do before Giles put me on a clothes budget.

Dawn was only a few hours away, in London, so I didn't have to worry too much about her. I was only a short flight and one super boring car ride away from Giles and the Minis in Scotland.

Faith was enjoying some state time in Cleveland, with Angel and Spike, while Willow and Kennedy traveled the globe together.

Perhaps the oddest move was Xander, who was currently playing houseguest with none other than Dracula.

Personally, I myself had had quite enough of the _'ooh-I'm-so-deep'_ broody vampire scene but if Xander wanted to be Dracula's spider eating man-bitch, then so be it.

The flat itself was nice. Definitely….Giles-ish. I had made several mental notes on making it girlier and less…stuffy-Watcher-librarian-y.

Cardiff seemed to be a nice city as well, from what I had seen of it, so far.

My first actual day here was spent mostly indoors, making said girly design plans and eating takeaway pizza.

Day number two was spent shopping for said girly design plans. And possibly some new clothes. Okay. _Lots_ of new clothes. Enough to warrant the Giles budget.

Night number two was, again, spent entirely indoors, eating, this time, takeaway Chinese and watching my brand new television.

Day number three was spent putting said design plans into action.

By the time nightfall hit though, I was completely sick of looking at my flat, however gorgeous it was now. I took a long, hot shower, making sure all the paint splatters were gone and then dove into my newly gorgeous wardrobe.

I chose a dark purple top and a pair of dark wash, slightly bootcut jeans. I was feeling cute and girly, for once, so I forewent my normal boots for a pair of black ballet flats.

I took my time tousling my hair into a pretty up-do and then I was out the door, ready for a night on the town.

*******************************************

_**(Thirty minutes later)**_

I ran as fast as I could towards the vicious snarls I heard coming from down the abandoned alley.

"So much for retirement." I whispered to myself.

I turned a corner and stopped in my tracks. There were a group of….things…surrounding a man.

They had brown skin, a bumpy vampire-like face and wore blue jumpsuits. Oh yeah, and the sharp, jagged teeth.

I counted seven of them. They were definitely ready to attack this guy. He was (barely) managing to keep them at bay by spraying a can of…something at them. One would have to figure that, at some point, the can would run out, though.

I found my nerves tingling in anticipation, sensing the oncoming fight. I couldn't help myself. It'd been too long since my last tumble.

I grabbed Mr. Pointy out from the waistband of my jeans and snuck as close as I could. The man had his head turned in the opposite direction from me, keeping his eyes set on one of the Uglies in particular. I took this moment to stretch out my senses. I wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing and not helping something evil. Not that that's ever happened before, of course.

I reeled my senses back in after only a few short seconds. The Uglies were definitely the baddies. The man, let's call him…Captain Handsome, because he was _extremely_gorgeous, still had his back to me. I figured that this was my best opportunity to attack.

I ran up and took out one easily, by surprise. They didn't turn to dust so it was safe to assume that they weren't vampires.

Two of the Uglies must've seen my action and came rushing at me, teeth gnashing. I moved to the left and grabbed Ugly number two's arm, using his momentum to swing him into Ugly number three, successfully knocking them both to the ground. Hopefully dead, but probably just unconscious.

The man noticed me then. His blue eyes were wide and his face was stuck in disbelief. He was brought out of his trance quickly though, by the remaining four Uglies.

He sprayed his little can and nothing but air came out.

Told you soooo.

I spun Mr. Pointy in my fingers and ran at Uglies number four and five. I ducked their advancement, sweeping them down to the ground. I reached over and stuck the stake through number four's heart. It was all gooey.

_Definitely_not vamps. Ew.

I swooped over and staked number five, promising Mr. Pointy a nice, warm, sudsy bath.

Just as I pulled my stake out of number five's chest, Captain Handsome spoke.

"You killed them."

I looked around in confusion.

"Uh, not all of them. Sorry. Ugly number two and three are busy napping over there."

I looked past him and saw number six and seven laying on the ground, unconscious.

"Who are you?" he asked.

I wiped Mr. Pointy off on one of the dead Uglies jumpsuits and stood up.

"Just a good Samaritan coming to your rescue?"

It came out like a question.

"I don't buy that. Who are you?"

Now that it was just Captain Handsome and myself, I decided to let my senses stretch out again and they didn't disappoint. He felt human. Human, but different. Somehow.

I turned my head to stare at him, curiously, and walked closer to him. "I'll ask the same question, I guess. Who are you?"

He pulled his gun out and pointed it straight at me. I, of course, stopped in my tracks.

"I asked first."

I rolled my eyes.

"Really? We're doing the gun thing?"

He clicked the lever back. "Why won't you tell me who you are?"

My annoyance at the gun in my face was quickly winning out over his gorgeousness.

"I don't like when people point guns in my face. It's not polite. That's your only warning."

He stood silent and still, the gun unwavering. I sighed deeply.

"You know, I really didn't want to have to go this route on account of your supreme hotness, but this whole 'gun-in-my-face' thing has pretty much ruined the moment for me."

"Don't think that just because you're beautiful, I won't shoot you."

I laughed. Perhaps it was the adrenaline rushing through my veins, but somehow I doubted he could beat my Slayer speed.

And I was right.

I had the gun out of his hands and him unconscious on the ground in under a minute. Probably more like thirty seconds, really.

I stuck his gun in the back of my jeans and got to work finishing off-slash-disposing of the Uglies.

"I've been here for less than seventy-two hours and I'm already knocking out gorgeous strangers and dumping bodies. My life is just too glamorous."

I walked into my flat about an hour later. I locked my doors and hopped into the shower, excited about washing away all the icky-ness. I got out and put Mr. Pointy to soak in a nice, bubbly sink.

Just like I'd promised.

I crawled into my super new, super cozy bed and stared at the man's gun.

I didn't really want to take it but there was no way I was leaving a gun unattended next to a barely conscious man.

I thought about dropping it at the police station with some story of finding in a dumpster or finding laying in the street, but in the end, I just tucked it safely away in my bedside table.

***************************

_**Jack**_

I could feel my head spinning in circles.

Pain throbbed throughout my entire body as I tried to slowly blink my eyes open.

I let them adjust to the darkness before making an attempt to sit up. I looked around and recognized the dark alleyway to where I had remembered being cornered off by a group of Weevils.

I looked around again.

Where did they go? Ran back to the sewers, maybe. Or they were in the middle of attacking a horde of tourists.

I sat in quiet thought for a moment, letting them stir.

And then I remembered.

I was cornered off by the Weevils when the beautiful blonde dashed in. How I could possibly forget someone as absolutely stunning as her, I wasn't sure.

Her strength, her skill…

For someone of her stature, there was no possible way that she could be real.

Well not 'real'. Because she was. Right? She had been here?

I shook my head. Of course she was real. But it still didn't explain why I had been unconscious on the dirty pavement.

She had to have been evil. Maybe not completely end-of-the-universe-Dalek evil, but there definitely had to have been a spark in her.

She for sure wasn't human. I knew that. The way she flung the Weevils around like they were nothing was extremely alarming.

And, if I was being completely honest with myself, _incredibly _sexy.

My head seemed a bit lighter so I attempted at standing. I opened my coat to fix one of my braces that had come loose and that's when I noticed my gun was missing. A Weevil certainly didn't run off with it so that left only one other option. My anger flared and I stormed off, back to the Hub.

**********************************

I pushed impatiently through the cog door and looked around. It was late, but thankfully the woman I needed was still there, like always.

"Tosh! Research project. Young women infused with mass amounts of strength. Possible non-human origins."

"What's going on, Jack?" she asked from behind her desk.

"Less questioning more researching."

She turned back towards her mass of computers and started typing away.

I paced around behind her. After an increasingly long minute, she spoke.

"Oh, look! Here's something…oh but it's just a myth, really."

"Faeries are supposedly a myth and look where that got us."

Tosh nodded and read on. "Something called a 'Slayer.' One girl, in the all the world, chosen to fight the forces of darkness. She's built like her foe….enhanced senses, imbued with their strength and skill. It was said to generally hit around the age of puberty. Oh, this is sad. Once a Slayer dies, another is called to take her place...except most of the girls weren't said to make it much past their eighteenth year, if even that."

I upped my hectic pacing.

"That could work. Can you search for someone with those similarities? American. Probably within the last decade."

"Jack—"

"Tosh, just do it."

"Young American girl with a possible criminal record. Got it."

I stopped pacing and rushed to the screen.

"Already?"

"Itemized search of the most repeated names in the last ten years with the similarities from the myth. This screen is the East Coast, the middle is the Mid-West and this would be the West Coast. My goodness…that's a lot."

"What?"

"Between the East and West Coasts, there are two names that pop up an awful lot. Faith Lehane…numerous assault charges starting from the East and moving West, where she amped it up to an attempted murder charge. It says here that she is still a wanted felon after escaping from a prison in Los Angeles, California earlier this year. Here…here's her mug shot."

I glanced at the brunette.

"Not her."

Tosh scrolled over and clicked another name.

"Buffy Summers. Expelled from Hemery High School in Los Angeles after burning down the school gymnasium. Moved with her mother and sister to Sunnydale, California. Suspect in not one, but two murders however she was never actually charged in either one. The same as the other girl…a few assault charges here and there, but nothing was ever pressed. Another expulsion. Reported missing by her mother in 1998 after the second expulsion, but the case was closed when she returned home months later. Oh, my."

"What?"

"Well, she must've really hated school. It was never formally brought up or anything, but whomever wrote out her file, clearly thought that she had a hand in Sunnydale High School blowing up."

"Is there a picture at all?"

Tosh scrolled across the page some more. "There has to be…oh here's a picture. Circa 1998, when she was reported missing. She would probably look a bit different now, I'd imagine, anyway."

I stared at the blonde on the screen. She did seem a bit younger but it was one-hundred percent her. Definitely my mystery woman.

"Tosh, find out every single detail you can on Miss Summers. And I mean _everything_."

"Jack, really….what's going—"

"Tosh, I can't explain right now because I honestly don't know. But I would really appreciate it if you could keep this between us?"

She hesitated for a moment and then nodded her comply.  
************************************

_**Buffy**__  
_

I was awoken from my beauteous deep sleep by the shrill ringing of my phone. I reached over and grabbed at it, answering blindly.

"Hello?" I mumbled out.

"Buffy, it's nearly noon. Tell me you're not still asleep?"

"Dawnie, I'm an adult. I can sleep till whenever I want. Besides, how many times did I have to practically pull you out of bed for school?" I said, groggily, eyes still closed.

Truthfully, I had just gotten in around four earlier that morning. It had been practically a week since my run in with Captain Handsome and the Uglies. I'd been out every single night looking for him. I'd felt bad about, you know, knocking him out and stealing his gun.

"There is truth in that statement. I just wanted to make sure we were still on for this weekend."

"Yeah, we are. Is Willow coming with you?"

"Yep. Well, pending no witch-y Goddess-y disasters happen. Oh God. I just jinxed us, didn't I?"

I rolled over off my side and stretched out. I blinked my eyes open and my breath caught in my throat.

"Dawn, I'll call you back later, okay?"

"Oh my God, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'll call you later." I said, hanging up.

I didn't have a mirror but I'd wager that my eyes were wider than wide.

Sitting across from my bed, on my chaise, was none other than (drum roll) Captain Handsome.

"Morning, sunshine." he beamed. His smile was wide and charismatic.

"H-h-hi." I stammered out.

"Care for a cup of coffee?" he asked, raising a cup to me.

I started to get up to retrieve it, but suddenly remembered the near nakedness of my pajamas and quickly wrapped the blanket up around myself.

"Aww, feeling shy?" he winked. He stood up, handed me the steaming cup and then sat back down on the chaise.

"Why are you here?"

At this, he picked up a huge manila folder that was sitting next to him and started to leaf through it.

"I'm pretty sure you know why."

"Okay, well, how did you get into my flat?"

I was surprisingly calm. Perhaps it was because I felt bad about the whole unconsciousness thing.

"Your landlord was astonishingly easy to charm."

"Oh. Wait. My landlord is a guy."

"I'm aware."

"Oh. _Oh_. Are you gay?"

He smiled, charismatically, again. "I'm whatever you want me to be, _Buffy._"

My eyes went wider. "Okay. How do you know my name?"

"I know a lot about you. Elizabeth "Buffy" Anne Summers. Born January 19th, 1981 in Los Angeles, California to Hank and Joyce Summers. Younger sibling Dawn Summers, born September 26, 1986, also in Los Angeles, California. No major problems throughout nursery or primary school but then, when you transferred up to Hemery High, well that's where the fun really began, huh? May 1996. Record says you burned down the gymnasium."

"It was full of vam—asbestos. And mold. The infectious kind." I mumbled, silently. I had no idea why I lied to him. He clearly had seen me take out several of the Uglies and he apparently had done his homework.

"Asbestos? Really? You murdered seventeen students over asbestos?"

My temper started to flare.

"I didn't murder them!"

"You burnt down the gym."

"They were already dead when I set it on fire!" I yelled.

"From?"

"You tell me. You're the one with all the information." I growled.

He was silent for a minute before continuing on.

"The police seemingly couldn't pinpoint you as the actual fire starter. Expelled from school and put on three months of probation during which time your parents had their divorce finalized. Moved to Sunnydale, CA in 1997 and enrolled in Sunnydale High School. And what a ride that was, right? Suspect in not one, but _two_murders, a few assault charges here and there. Nothing that really stuck though. You seem to have a knack for evading the police, I have to say. I'm betting it's those big, pretty eyes. Another expulsion. Reported missing by your mother in 1998 after said second expulsion. Sunnydale High mysteriously exploded in 1999 where, surprise surprise, you were said to be on the scene. Weird, huh?"

"Okay, I get it! You read the Cliff Notes on my life, thank you very much."

He pushed the folder aside and sat forward. "What are you?"

"_What_am I? A human being, thank you very much."

"What's a Slayer?"

I sighed. "You tell me."

"Legend says that it's one girl, in all the world, chosen to fight the forces of darkness."

"Into every generation, a Slayer is born. One girl in all the world, a Chosen one. One born with the strength and skill to fight the vampires, to stop the spread of their evil and the swell of their numbers." I whispered.

"Vampires?"

I nodded.

"As in…_vampires_?"

"Yeah, vampires. You know, pale things with bumpy faces and fangs that drink blood."

He nodded. "Drink your coffee. You're still a bit groggy looking. It'll wake you up."

I raised the cup up, sniffed it and set it back down on my stand. "No thanks. Not interested in being poisoned."

"You're good." he beamed. "But for the record, it's not 'poison'. It's an amnesia pill."

"Take your gun and get out." I huffed.

Digging up info on me is one thing but attempting at messing with my memories is a completely different ball game. Unless you're a Monk sending me a sister.

He stood up and turned away, stopping at the door. He pulled his jacket open and flashed the holster attached to his braces.

"Already got it, sweet pea."

With that, he was gone.

I immediately grabbed my phone and started making calls.  
*******************************

_**Jack**_

I stepped onto the invisible lift and waited patiently for it to descend. It had been a late and sort of rough night Weevil hunting. Something had them spooked and that was never good. Scared Weevils equaled nasty Weevils.

Owen, Gwen and Ianto had headed home, like I suggested. Tosh, however, was still sitting at her computer when I stepped off from the lift.

"Tosh, I thought I told you to go home?"

She swiveled around in her chair. "Right. You did. I was just finishing up some stuff first."

I smiled. "It's late. Finish it tomorrow. Go home."

She smiled back and nodded. She grabbed her things and walked towards the lift. She turned like she was about to say something, but thought better of it and just waved instead.

I trudged up the stairs to my office, sliding out of my coat on the way. I stepped in and flicked on the lights. I should've been surprised, but I wasn't.

"Evening, Captain." said the gorgeous, little blonde that was sitting behind my desk. She had her legs up and she was leaning back in my chair.

"Hello again, Buffy." I smiled.

"You're not an easy man to track down, Captain."

I hung my coat up and sat in a chair on the opposite side of my desk. It was odd sitting here but Miss Summers seemed like she was used to being in control so I figured I'd let her play her little game out.

"But I bet you managed to do it." I smiled. I mean, really? How much info could she have actually mustered up?

" Captain Jack Harkness. Born on the Boeshane Peninsula in the fifty-first century. Your father died and your little brother disappeared during an alien invasion. Later joined the Time Agency as a, well, time agent. You were partnered with a Captain John Hart for about, what? Five years? One tragic day, you woke up with two years worth of memories missing, presumably done by the Time Agency you worked for and decided to go rogue. But then again, that didn't exactly pan out did it? Ended up as a con-man, bouncing from time period to time period, scamming poor idiots out of money. And even then, that all came to a halt. As soon as you met The Doctor and his companion, Rose, who, in turn, accidentally made you immortal trying to save the world from some, again, presumably evil, things called "daleks". After they abandoned you, you attempted at time traveling to what I guess now would be present day, but your little time travel thing shorted out and you got stuck in 1869, having to live your way through the twentieth century. Joined the military. Made Captain. War hero in, well, a lot of different wars, but your favorite era, World War Two, that was the special one, wasn't it? Because that's where you got your name. Where you stole your name from a dead man. Things get a bit confusing after that cause I'm pretty sure that's where Rose and the Doctor come in….and then everything seems to kind of loop around in a very weird circle. Anyway, your recent past exploits seem to have to hooking up again with the Doctor, this time a different face and a different companion, Martha, where the three of you spent a year enslaved on a ship with someone called "The Master." But then, as it happens, the good guys won and time rewound and voila, that year never existed. I think, well, I think this brings us full circle. How did I do?"

I was completely and utterly speechless. I was aware that my jaw might've been hanging as wide as my eyes.

"I take the lack of silence as Buffy getting an A+"

I shook my head. "How did you know all of that? My entire team doesn't even know hardly any of it."

Buffy tilted her head back in contemplative thought. She drew a long breath. "Yeah….but, please, stop me if I'm wrong, I'm assuming that not many of them have connections with partial Goddesses and super powerful Covens that owe them lots and lots of favours."

"What do you want?"

Her eyebrow raised. "Want? I want something?"

"Well, I'm assuming you didn't launch a two week investigation into my life for fun."

She shrugged her shoulders and sat up. "Didn't have anything better to do."

"No vampires to slay? No evil demons to thwart?" I smirked.

"I'm retired."

I stood up and started to pace. "So, let me get this straight. You launched a massive investigation into my life….because you were bored?"

She nodded. "Well, I mean, there were no schools that needed burning down or blowing up so I thought, hey, why not?"

I laughed.

"Besides," she continued. "You did the same thing to me."

"Yeah, because not only did you take out half of the Weevils by yourself, you knocked me out and stole my gun."

"I'm pretty sure that you're forgetting that you tried to poison me after that."

"It's not poison. It's an amnesia pill."

"Okay, so you tried manipulating my memories. I don't like when people do that. It's a complete violation of my—er, one's head."

"You sure are feisty." I smirked.

"And seeing as how you're immortal, I probably wouldn't mind choking you right now."

I raised my eyebrows, in a joking, yet hopeful, manner. "Really? 'Cause that sure sounds like a fun way to end my night."

Buffy's eyes widened at her phrasing. "That is SO not what I meant and you know it."

I smiled. "Could've fooled me."

She rolled her eyes. "Typical male."

"Come on. You can't deny that you aren't at least a little bit attracted to me."

"You'd be surprised at how good I am at denial."

"You said, and I quote, 'You know, I really didn't want to have to go this route on account of your supreme hotness'. I believe that qualifies as attraction."

"I did? When the hell did I say that?"

"Why the very night we met." I grinned.

She didn't say anything, only rolled her eyes again.

"Though, I can't blame you. It's not your fault for being attracted. It's the pheromones. Common thing in the fifty-first century."

"Now, I'm thinking of crossbows."

"I suppose Slayers aren't much for guns, seeing as how your 'job' is exceedingly medieval."

Her eyes turned dark. Dark like I was actually really becoming the enemy.

"I don't do guns because my best friend, you know, the partial Goddess, her last girlfriend was fatally shot. In my house. With a bullet meant for me. But, don't worry. The next bullet found me."

She placed her hand up high, just above her heart.

"Oh, I'm so-"

"Sorry. I know. You didn't know. Must not have come across that in your investigating."

We stood in a very awkward silence till an idea popped into my head.

"So, you say you're retired from the slaying gig?"

"Yeah. Well. Sort of. I mean, if I see a vamp or a demon lurking about, I'm not just going to let it go running off, all willy nilly. Also, in the case of…..severe cases."

"Severe cases?"

"Eh, end of the world stuff. Where is this going?"

I smirked. "I'm not going to lie, none of us here have much experience, if any at all, in the supernatural world. Not like you. We deal strictly with alien life, as you've noticed. So, I guess what I'm saying is, Buffy Summers, Torchwood would like to hire you for your…otherworldly expertise. Kind of like our liaison to that other do you say?"

She was silent for a few minutes before a wide smile spread across her face.

"When do I start?"


End file.
